Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Trending via Reddit:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Spotted on WeChat:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Live now on Facebook:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Just shared via Threads:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Making waves on TikTok:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

34 Funny payment quotes

Funny payment quotes bring a hilarious twist to the not-so-fun world of bills and invoices 💸😂 Whether you’re dodging rent reminders or laughing at awkward tips, these witty lines make spending (and getting paid) a little less painful 💰🤣 Get ready to smile through the checkout chaos and lighten up your wallet woes with some clever humor! 😎💬

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All funny payment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

88 shares on Threads this month:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

98 shares on X this month:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,767

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Just landed via Reddit:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

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