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714 Funny people quotes

Trending Funny People Quotes 🔥

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.
The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.
Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.
There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.
Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

More funny people quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Commentary:
"Who needs haters when you've got a fan club lining up for the abuse show? 🙌😂 #BringItOn"
3 months ago
Share →: Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Commentary:
"Next time someone rolls their eyes while you're talking, just remind yourself that they're on a mission to find their lost brain 🧠💭. Don't feel bad, be proud that you're keeping them entertained! 🙄😂"
3 months ago
Share →: True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Commentary:
"True friends don't judge each other, they save their best critiques for the rest of the world! 👯‍♂️👀 #SquadGoals #FriendshipGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Commentary:
Well, it's like, "Hey, camera-shy, speak or forever hold your peace!" 📸🙊 Don't miss out on your chance for a celebrity encounter just because you've gone into stealth mode! 😂
3 months ago
Share →: How do I un-know people?

Commentary:
"Well, have you tried repeatedly hitting the 'CTRL+Z' keys in real life? 🤔 Or maybe you can try the ancient art of selective amnesia – works like a charm! 🧠💫 Just remember to forget to remember! 😉"
3 months ago
Share →: When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Scientists have discovered the center of the universe… and it's not your living room! 🌌😅 Remember folks, humility is always in style! #UniverseIsBiggerThanYouThink"
3 months ago
Share →: I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Commentary:
"Who needs feng shui when you have a husband to keep on his toes? 💁‍♀️🪑 #MarriagePrankster"
3 months ago
Share →: When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perplexing paradox of modern slang! When 'cray-cray' meets 'vom-vom,' it's a linguistic rollercoaster that might just leave you feeling a bit queasy. So, next time someone drops a 'cray-cray,' be sure to keep your 'vom-vom' at bay!"
3 months ago
Share →: The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Commentary:
"Rich people have it all – the fancy cars, the luxurious vacations, and the designer clothes. Meanwhile, I'm over here budgeting for my morning coffee. The struggle is real, my friends."
3 months ago
Share →: There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the talent of being able to hit all the wrong nerves with surgical precision! It's like listening to a symphony of frustration played by a maestro of annoyance. Bravo, dear irritants, bravo!"