72 Funny productivity quotes

• 

  5 days ago

  View →: You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.
• 

  2 weeks ago

  View →: Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.
• 

  4 weeks ago

  View →: Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: 9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: I’m not feeling very worky today.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: The reward for doing really good work is more work.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: I was actually doing so well until your email found me.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: This entire month could’ve been an email.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: This meeting could have been an AI summary.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: This meeting could have been an unread email.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: They expect me to work at work.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: This whole week could have been an email.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

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