Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Making waves on X:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Shared recently on Slack:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Trending via Messenger:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Going viral on Facebook:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Trending via TikTok:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Live now on Facebook:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Trending via LinkedIn:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

17 Funny role quotes

Funny role quotes 😂 bring a hilarious twist to everyday characters we all play! Whether you’re the boss, the goofball, or the drama queen 👑, these witty lines capture the quirks and laughs that make each role unforgettable. Ready to giggle and relate? Let’s dive into some playful vibes that’ll brighten your day and maybe even inspire your next acting audition 🎭✨!

New funny role quotes 👇

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

0

1 month ago

alone, awkwardness, blair, Blair Witch, corner, dinner, family, humor, role, Thanksgiving, witch
Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

0

1 month ago

couple, dating, gender, gender role, humor, man, media, only, photo, photos, post, relationship, relationships, role, serious, social, social media
Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

0

2 months ago

apology, costume, flirting, foreplay, humor, i, know, med, med school, nurse, nurse costume, play, role, role play, school, self-awareness, sorry, take, too
We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

0

2 months ago

able, activity, bar, drink, gender, gender role, humor, island, love, Love Island, men, party, role, should, show, social, social activity, sport, sports, television, television show, watch, watching, watching party
Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

0

2 months ago

decision, employment, existing, extra, hiring, humor, job, management, office, paying, role, salary, staff, staffing, workplace
Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

0

2 months ago

40s, actor, adult, adult humor, aging, best, bra, bras, humor, menopause, Oscar, role, support, supportive, welcome, women
Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

0

2 months ago

actor, actor switch, benoit, Benoit Blanc, best, blanc, bond, celebrity, character, comedy, craig, daniel, Daniel Craig, ever, film, film character, happen, humor, james, James Bond, leaving, movie, movie role, role, switch, things
The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, dynamic, family, family dynamic, humor, irony, life, life irony, most, parenting, parents, reversal, role, role reversal, surprise
Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

0

2 months ago

black, black sheep, family, honor, humor, i, identity, play, role, sarcasm, sheep
Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

0

2 months ago

acceptance, doing, happening, humor, i, just, life, play, role, spontaneity, things

For even more funny role quotes, hit next 👇

All funny role quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a massage for my brain.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Making waves on Pinterest:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Live now on Snapchat:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Just shared via Facebook:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Making waves on X:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Live now on X:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴