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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

8 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Just shared via Facebook:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Spotted on YouTube:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Going viral on YouTube:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Just shared via YouTube:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Trending via Instagram:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Just landed via Twitch:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Spotted on Telegram:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Home » Funny Self-confidence Quotes » Page 2

16 Funny self-confidence quotes

More funny self-confidence quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet illusion of age and wisdom shattered by the harsh reality of adulting… Turns out, it's not about being wise and self-confident, it's just a battle against exhaustion 😴💭 #AdultingStruggles #AgeVsTiredness"
6 months ago
Share →: Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Commentary:
"Who needs a window when you've got this level of fabulosity? 💁‍♀️✨ Put me in a broom closet and suddenly it's a VIP lounge! 😂 #RoomsWithAClue"
6 months ago
Share →: Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Commentary:
"Life advice from the fruit kingdom! 🍍👑 Just remember, it's what's on the inside that counts…and a little bit of sass on the outside never hurts either! 😎🍍 #PineappleGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Commentary:
"Who needs approval from everyone when you already have impeccable taste 😏👌 Don't worry, being an acquired taste is just your way of keeping things interesting 😉🌟"
6 months ago
Share →: Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Commentary:
Well, move over Spotify! 🎵🔥 Looks like the real chart-topper has arrived and it's not available for streaming! 😂💁‍♂️ Who needs a playlist when you're the ultimate hit single? 🌟 #TrendingOnMyOwnTerms
6 months ago
Share →: Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Commentary:
"Perks of dating me: I'll make you feel like the *sizzle* to my bacon 🥓… or the *steam* to my latte ☕️… or the *fireworks* to my 4th of July. Basically, I'll ensure you're the 'hot' topic wherever we go! 😎🔥 #sizzleandswag"

For even more funny self-confidence quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-confidence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

8 minutes ago

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Live now on WeChat:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Making waves on Discord:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Freshly posted on X:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Just shared via YouTube:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Making waves on Snapchat:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Trending via Threads:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

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