334 Funny someone quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

  Commentary:
  "Life is a dating game – play your cards right, or you might end up being a spectator in someone else's romance movie! 💔😂 #LoveAndCourage"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

  Commentary:
  "Taking a break from swiping left and right to await my knight in shining armor…or perhaps just a humble farmer with a trusty donkey 🐴🐉 #MedievalLoveStory #NoMoreSwipeLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, seeing someone my age running definitely counts as rare sighting! 🏃‍♀️😂 Who needs an ice-cream truck when you have that kind of motivation, right? #JustAdultingThings"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

  Commentary:
  "When you show someone the year they can retire, it's like forcing them to gaze into the abyss of adulthood and mortality 😱💸💼 Retirement age: the scariest bedtime story ever told!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, a conversation is like a game of hot potato – you don't want to be the one left holding the spud for too long! 🥔 Let's give others a chance to shine in the spotlight, before we start auditioning for the role of the one-person show! 🎭💬"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the joys of summer! 🌞🕶️ Nothing says "seasonal entertainment" quite like the thrill of witnessing a flip-flop fumble 😅👣 Just remember, in the battle of man vs. flip flop, gravity always wins! Keep your eyes peeled for some toe-tally hilarious moments this summer! 🤣

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs meditation when you've mastered the art of automatic mind-blanking on demand? 🧘‍♂️🗺️ #DirectionallyChallenged"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

  Commentary:
  "Struggling to keep your eyes open and hair in place? Watch out – your new social strategy is here! 🙈💤 Just remember, looking like a feral animal isn't always a bad thing… it just means you're always ready for a 'wild' encounter! 🐾😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, life is too short to chase people who don't make an effort to be in your life. 🕒✂️ Surround yourself with those who value your time like it's a limited edition snack – available for a good time, not a long time! 🍿😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

  Commentary:
  "Sometimes we all just want to be missed like we're the only source of entertainment and snacks in the whole wide world 🚽👶💔 #nephewlove"

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