519 Funny someone quotes

• I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

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  6 days ago

  communication, conversation, etiquette, humor, i, love, media, message, rest, sarcasm, social, social media, solve, someone, texting, texting etiquette, texts

• It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

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  6 days ago

  back, crawl, dating, habit, hard, inconvenience, peace, peaceful, relationship, retreat, single, someone, stress, stress-free, time

• Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

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  6 days ago

  20, am, anything, cancellation, day, excited, excitement, extra, extra time, finding, free, getting, ground, humor, i, joy, life, management, meeting, minutes, penny, small, small joy, someone, time, time management, unexpected, unexpected free time, work, work life

• The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

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  6 days ago

  2, alarm, annoyance, apart, morning, none, person, room, roommate, share, sleep, someone, wake, wake up, worst

• Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

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  6 days ago

  attraction, bed, believe, desire, everyone, gender, humor, i, just, lot, noise, relationship, sexuality, short, short shorts, shorts, someone, wants

• Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

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  6 days ago

  annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone

• What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

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  6 days ago

  awkward, awkward situation, bathroom, even, knock, privacy, protocol, say, situation, someone, stall

• Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

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  6 days ago

  being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing

• When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

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  6 days ago

  disturb, do not disturb, enter, even, great, hour, humor, i, interruption, me, mind, mind palace, oh, okay, palace, pardon, philosopher, precious, privacy, realize, sarcasm, seclusion, solitude, someone

• Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

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  6 days ago

  bathroom, bathrooms, family, finish, full, home, house, humor, internet, just, life, life tip, patience, prank, someone, tip, turn, waiting, wifi

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