Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Commentary:
"Marriages are like pancakes – sounds delicious, right? 🥞 But hey, if the first one turns out a bit burnt, it's okay to toss it and try again! 😅 Who knew breakfast foods could provide such sage advice on relationships? #PancakesOverHeartbreaks"
6 months ago
Share →: When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Commentary:
"Talk about reaching new heights even in the afterlife! ⛰️💀 Who knew Mount Everest could be the ultimate final resting place for those who aspire for greatness, even in death! 🏔️😄 #LifeGoalsInDeath"
6 months ago
Share →: That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous magic trick of cats: Projectile Vomiting Primarily on Plush Palaces! 🐱🤢🧹 Who needs a bathroom when you have a perfectly good carpet to target, right?"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Commentary:
"Looks like the bra has officially declared independence! 🚫👙 No turning back from the bra-very act of defiance now! 😆 Who knew a simple undergarment could lead to such rebellion! 💁‍♀️ #BralessRevolution"
6 months ago
Share →: I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Commentary:
"Ah, Savage Garden – the masters of blending romance with questionable mountain etiquette! 🏔️💔 Who knew love could involve such adventurous aquatic activities? 😂 Let's hope 'standing on a mountain' with someone doesn't lead to a one-way ticket to the sea! 🌊 #SavageGardenShenanigans"
6 months ago
Share →: Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Commentary:
🦸‍♂️💼 "Who needs spider-sense when you can have online support? Peter Parker, ditch the Daily Bugle drama and join the digital age! Your friendly neighborhood Patreon awaits, complete with a PayPal upgrade in your Spider-bio! Remember, with great power comes great crowdfunding opportunities." 🕷️💸 #SuperheroSideHustle
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of disappearing socks! 🧦✨ Apparently, playing a little game of hide-and-seek with your socks is the ultimate trick to summon the missing one. Who knew laundry could be this entertaining? 😄🔍 #LifeHacks101"
6 months ago
Share →: So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Commentary:
"Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care… but be careful of those pesky ceiling fans! 🙌🚫💨 Safety first, folks! Maybe we need a new hit song about 'Watch Out for the Fan Blades' 🎶😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the magical time when leftovers start developing autonomy 🍲🤖. They are probably having a party in your fridge while plotting their escape mission! Time to set them free, brave soul 😄👋."
6 months ago
Share →: My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Commentary:
📦 "Ah, the classic case of 'box tossing remorse' – who knew that a simple cardboard container could spark such existential uncertainty? 🤔 Perhaps in 20 years, that box will be celebrated as a lost treasure, forever haunting your husband's dreams… 😅 Just remember, in the world of boxes, one person's trash is another person's future storage solution!"