177 Funny today quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the Ancient Egyptians were trendsetters for online cat videos and social media rants? 🐱🖥️ Let's be honest, cats and walls have always been prime real estate for expression, whether it's hieroglyphics or memes!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

  Commentary:
  🌅 Faced with the toughest decision of the day: to live or not to live? That is the question! 😴 Who knew that ceiling could be so captivating, right? Maybe a little pep talk is in order to kickstart the day! 💪☕ #MorningStruggles #JustFiveMoreMinutes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news: Doughnut deprived of its bling! 🍩😱 Who knew dieting could be so cruel? Stay strong, sprinkle-less warrior! 💪 #DoughnutDrama"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

  Commentary:
  "Being awesome is a full-time job, and yesterday's shift really wore me out! 😅💪 Today, I might just settle for 'slightly above average' and call it a win. #AwesomeStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs adulting when you can just be a carefree pup soaking up the sun and receiving snacks on demand? 🐶☀️ Don't worry, I'll bring the snacks as long as you promise belly rubs in return! #DogLifeGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the teen drama is hitting its peak! 👚🧼 Who knew clean clothes could cause such chaos? 🤷‍♂️ Next up, will folding socks be considered a hate crime? Stay tuned for more laundry shenanigans! 🧦😆 #TeenAngstLaundryDay

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! 😂💤"

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