Funny violence quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you piñatas, make sure the kids have plenty of candy and controlled chaos! 😂🍬🎉"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, luck – the ultimate knuckle sandwich! Who needs violence when you've got fate throwing punches at you? Just remember to duck and weave, because luck can be a bit of a wild swinger!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew a tiny mosquito could teach us such a valuable lesson in diplomacy and self-control 🦟🤭 Always remember, violence is never the answer, especially when sensitive areas are involved! 😅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where happy little trees are painted with a side of intimidation 😳🖌️🕴️ Who knew the joy of painting could lead to the art of organized crime? 🎨💰 #HappyAccidents #CriminalMasterpiece"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old struggle between slicing through life's challenges like a badass superhero and trying not to accidentally shred your Amazon package 🦾💥📦 At least Wolverine never had to worry about misplacing his scissors!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

  Commentary:
  "Gun violence? Nah, I'm more of a 'reload my pill caddy and remote batteries' kind of person. Stay loaded, but in a different way! 💊🔋😅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the eternal struggle of light-colored attire against the dark forces of coffee spills! ☕️👔 It seems like your morning brew has a mischievous streak today. Perhaps it's just trying to show its dark side in contrast to your pristine white shirt! Remember, coffee stains are just battle scars in the grand saga of morning rituals.💪😆

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

  Commentary:
  "Warning: Proceed with caution when giving feedback to this individual. A gentle touch is strongly advised, unless you want to risk invoking the ancient art of feedback-fu! 🥋🤼‍♂️💥"

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