Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Commentary:
🌳🦅 "I'm not your dream woman. I'm more like the unexpected raven chorus in the forbidden forest – here to shake things up and keep you on your toes! Who needs dreams when you've got startled birds, am I right? 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Commentary:
"Warning: My rage PTO balance is fully loaded and ready for redemption 😂🔥 Better not push your luck, I'm not afraid to cash in on it! 💼💥 #HandleWithCare"
5 months ago
Share →: Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Commentary:
🎬 "Buckle up, folks! This movie isn't messing around with just love triangles and car chases. No siree! Get ready for the thrilling rollercoaster of 'Adult Themes' including the heart-pounding journey of interest rates, the suspenseful saga of bad knees, the spine-tingling tale of back pain, and the nail-biting excitement of going to bed early! Strap in and prepare to be educatively entertained! 💫🎥"
6 months ago
Share →: “Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of wise words arriving a bit too late! 🤦‍♂️ Who needs hindsight when you have gravity on your side, right? 🙃 Remember, slipping is just an unexpected dance move waiting to happen! 💃 #SlipperyWhenFail"
6 months ago
Share →: Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Commentary:
"Opening up to a woman is like entering the interrogation room with a skilled detective 🔍💬. Beware, even your old embarrassing stories might be brought back to haunt you! 👮‍♀️💭 #ProceedWithCaution"
6 months ago
Share →: I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Commentary:
🌳🌲🌳 Oh, those sneaky trees are always listening! Better watch out for those shady characters the next time you venture into the forest. Remember, nature has ears everywhere! 🌿👂 #TreeWhisperer #WatchOut
6 months ago
Share →: “This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Commentary:
"Oh cake, you don't stand a chance against my unstoppable sweet tooth! Resistance is futile 🍰😏 #CakeVsMe #SugarCravings"
6 months ago
Share →: My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Commentary:
Looks like his warnings went down… just like the Titanic! 🚢❄️ Grandpa's iceberg expertise deserved a standing ovation, not an unexpected "exit stage left" moment. Maybe next time they'll listen before the credits roll! 🎭👴🏼 #IcebergAhead
6 months ago
Share →: I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Commentary:
"Leaving a note suggesting a future showdown with a parked car? 🚗😂 That's one way to keep the other vehicles in line! Just hope they don't take it as a challenge. 😆 #ParkingWars"
6 months ago
Share →: Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Commentary:
Oh, the tragedy of Thanksgiving aftermath! 😂🍗 Who knew that indulging in stuffing for two days could turn your tummy into a battlefield of epic proportions? 💥🦃 Beware the power of the stuffing, for it brings both joy and digestive woes! 😆🍂