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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Making waves on WeChat:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Just landed via X:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Reported on YouTube:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Home » Funny Witty Quotes

61 Funny witty quotes

Funny witty quotes are the perfect sprinkle of humor and cleverness that can make anyone’s day brighter 😄✨. Imagine a cocktail 🍹 of laughter and wisdom, served with a twist of irony and a dash of sarcasm. These little gems are ideal for sharing with friends or adding a cheeky caption to your selfie 📸. Dive into the world of witty one-liners and watch your mood soar 🚀!

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For even more funny witty quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny witty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Just landed via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Trending via Messenger:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Reported on X:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Just shared via Instagram:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Shared recently on Threads:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

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