Commentary:
Here lies the standoff of the century: outwit or forever hold your peace! 😂🤔🔍
Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?
Commentary:
Is it too much to ask for some "silent mode" on extroverts? Asking for a friend… 🤫🎤😄
ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.
Commentary:
"When your blender joins the witness protection program after those intense 2 weeks 😂🥤🔍"
Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.
Commentary:
Smelling good is a 3-step process: sprinkle, spray, and soak! 🚿🧼✨
Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.
Commentary:
Sounds like Professor needs a recess instead of teaching a lesson! 🍎📝📚
If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.
Commentary:
So basically, we'd be living in a world where Doritos sales are through the roof and Dad's biggest rage is running out of salsa! 🌿😋🎉
I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.
Commentary:
"Me: 'Oops, missed it again' *rewinds for the 5th time* 🎵🔄😂"
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate cleaning hack! 😂🧹 Just make sure he doesn't swipe you out for a real date! 🍽️🎭
I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.
Commentary:
Ah yes, the classic "Did I lock the door or just have a profound staring contest with my keys?" moment! 🔑🤔💭
Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”
Commentary:
Classic trickle-up economics in action! 💸🤔 The new philanthropic model: Robin Hood without the hood! 🎩💰