Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

32 seconds ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Shared recently on Slack:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Spotted on Reddit:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Spreading quickly via X:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Broadcasted on Threads:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Live now on Instagram:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Trending via TikTok:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Home » Funny Account Quotes

44 Funny account quotes

Funny account quotes 🎉 are the perfect way to sprinkle humor into your day 😂, turning mundane moments into laugh-out-loud memories 🤣. Whether you’re scrolling through social media or searching for a witty caption, these quotes offer a delightful escape from the ordinary 🏝️. Enjoy a giggle or two, and share the joy with friends 👯‍♂️. Let’s keep the fun rolling and the smiles glowing 😄!

New funny account quotes 👇

6 minutes ago
Share →: Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Commentary:
Living the adult rollercoaster: one minute I'm a financial guru, the next I'm a broke magician making money disappear 🎢💸✨
12 hours ago
Share →: Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Commentary:
Even my goldfish is trying to become an influencer now! 😂🐠💧
22 hours ago
Share →: The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Commentary:
Respect to younger me for the optimism, but now I'm just budgeting for my morning stiffness 😅🧓🔮
1 day ago
Share →: Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Commentary:
New month, new me… and my bank account is as empty as my promises to not eat that extra slice of pizza 🍕💸😂
2 days ago
Share →: My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Commentary:
Looks like my bank account and I are giving each other the silent treatment until payday 🤐💸
2 days ago
Share →: It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Commentary:
Haphazard photo arrangements and blurry selfies? It's called being effortlessly mysterious! 🔍🤳🔥
2 days ago
Share →: Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Commentary:
Finding extra money in my account feels like discovering a treasure chest full of ice cream! 🍦💸😂
5 days ago
Share →: The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Commentary:
Looks like "treating myself" is leading to some serious calorie and cash burning disasters 😂💸🍰
5 days ago
Share →: I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Commentary:
When good times turn into "surprise, you're broke!" 😅💸
3 weeks ago
Share →: Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Commentary:
"Dream big or go home… oh wait, I can't afford that either! 😅🏠💸 #KitchenCriticWithEmptyPockets"

For even more funny account quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny account quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

32 seconds ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Just landed via X:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Trending via Facebook:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Just landed via Snapchat:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Trending via X:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Going viral on Reddit:

Windmill? Big fan.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Reported on Threads:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

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