Funny quotes account

26 Funny account quotes

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I run a parody bank account.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025