299 Funny advice quotes

Funny advice quotes are here to turn life’s “helpful tips” into a comedy show! 😄💡 Whether it’s over-the-top suggestions or the kind of advice you never asked for, these quotes remind us that sometimes the best advice is the one that makes you laugh instead of think. Get ready for wisdom with a side of humor! 😂🗣️📚

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

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Why chase dreams when I can perfect the art of procrastination? 🎨😴

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

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Guess I should stay on this side before I turn that green grass into a mud bath! 🌱🙈🤣

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

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Time called. It wants its deadlines back! ⏰😅

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

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Taking "it's me, hi, I'm the problem" to new relationship heights! 😂🌀 #CertifiedCrazy

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

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Why see a therapist when I can scroll for free wisdom with a side of memes? 🤔😂🛋️

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There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Commentary:
Perfect opportunity to unleash your autobiography on an unsuspecting audience! ✈️😂🎤

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

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Shoot your shot when the moon has that Instagram filter on it! 🌙📸

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

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Starting with "Don't forget to plug in your brain" should do the trick 🤔🔌🧠😂

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

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Looks like the sperm needs a GPS 📍😂 Slow down, buddy! 🐢💪

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Commentary:
Oh great, now I can add "professional advice giver" to my imaginary resume! 🤔📚😂