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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has copied:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has downloaded:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has viewed:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has copied:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Slack:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Live now on Instagram:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Spotted on Facebook:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Just shared via Threads:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Just shared via Messenger:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Going viral on Discord:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Home Β» Funny Advice Quotes

256 Funny advice quotes

Funny advice quotes are here to turn life’s “helpful tips” into a comedy show! πŸ˜„πŸ’‘ Whether it’s over-the-top suggestions or the kind of advice you never asked for, these quotes remind us that sometimes the best advice is the one that makes you laugh instead of think. Get ready for wisdom with a side of humor! πŸ˜‚πŸ—£οΈπŸ“š

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has viewed:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has downloaded:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has downloaded:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Discord:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Just shared via X:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Seen just now on X:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Making waves on Facebook:

People should be able to call in healthy: β€œLook, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.β€œ

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Trending via YouTube:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

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