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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Spotted on Slack:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Seen just now on Discord:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Trending via Slack:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Trending via Instagram:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

324 Funny advice quotes

Funny advice quotes are here to turn life’s “helpful tips” into a comedy show! 😄💡 Whether it’s over-the-top suggestions or the kind of advice you never asked for, these quotes remind us that sometimes the best advice is the one that makes you laugh instead of think. Get ready for wisdom with a side of humor! 😂🗣️📚

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Discord this month:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

35 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Trending via Threads:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Trending via Twitch:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Making waves on YouTube:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Just landed via TikTok:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Live now on Telegram:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

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