27 Funny afterlife quotes

• It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

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  2 weeks ago

  5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top

• If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

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  2 months ago

  after, afterlife, cremated, cremation, death, die, family, family game night, game, game piece, hourglass, humor, night, nights, participation, piece, put, still

• Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, bathroom, burial, death, humor, long time, me, pee, still, sure, time

• The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, alive, avoid, devil, eternity, hell, humor, irony, spending, supernatural

• Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, choice, climate, company, contrast, heaven, hell, humor, lifestyle, wit

• Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, appreciation, arrange, die, friend, funeral, humor, i, joke, message, phone, prank, text

• Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

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  2 months ago

  after, afterlife, ancient, ancient Egypt, belief, burial, buried, chest, egypt, fun, hands, humor, life, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide

• There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, estate, going, hell, humor, investing, investment, people, property, real, real estate, sarcasm, thinking

• Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, connectivity, hell, humor, place, sarcasm, special, special place, technology, Wi-Fi, wifi

• When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, death, God, going, humor, irony, maker, meet, mingle, people, say, someone, staff

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