24 Funny afterlife quotes — Wordgag ツ

Reincarnation, in this economy?

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

2 months ago2 months ago

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

2 months ago2 months ago

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

4 months ago4 months ago

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

6 months ago

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

6 months ago

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Feb 5, 2025Feb 5, 2025

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Feb 3, 2025Feb 3, 2025

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Jan 28, 2025

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Jan 28, 2025

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Jan 27, 2025

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Jan 27, 2025

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Jan 27, 2025

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Jan 26, 2025

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Jan 25, 2025

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Jan 25, 2025

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Jan 25, 2025

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Jan 23, 2025

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Jan 22, 2025

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Jan 21, 2025