21 Funny afterlife quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

  Commentary:
  😂🔥 "When even the devil's like, 'Nah, I'm good,' you know you're special! 😈👌 #HellHoudini"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

  Commentary:
  “If going to Heaven means dealing with unpredictable weather but going to Hell means having a lively group of friends, I guess I’ll just bring an umbrella and sunscreen to Hell and make the most of it!”

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ultimate prank from beyond the grave! Nothing says 'rest in peace' quite like a posthumous text blast. Just imagine all the confusion and amusement that would ensue as friends and family receive heartfelt messages from the great beyond. The deceased might even become known as the ultimate party host, orchestrating one final gathering long after they've departed. It's a brilliant mix of sentiment and humor that's sure to leave everyone scratching their heads in wonder and appreciation.

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the Pharaohs were just trying to slide into the afterlife in style! 🌊😎 Who knew that crossing their hands was the ancient Egyptian version of getting ready for a day at the water park? 💦🎢 Just imagine, forever riding those infinite water slides… sounds like a pretty 'pharaohtastic' eternity! 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like hell is the next hot real estate market 🔥🏠 Better start scouting for that perfect lakeside condo 😉 Who knew eternal damnation could be so lucrative? 💰 #HellboundInvestments"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

  Commentary:
  "Well, if it does, I hope the password is 'eternaldamnation123'! 🤣🔥📶"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

  Commentary:
  Well, looks like even God has his own VIP section and doesn't bother with staff meetings! 🤣🙏 After all, running the universe must keep him pretty busy. #BossMoves #HeavenlyHierarchy

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even in the afterlife, this person is planning to have a social calendar busier than the Kardashians! 👻💁‍♂️ Better make sure to RSVP in advance to meet this ghostly VIP! 😄 #AfterlifeGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone took the whole 'carpe diem' thing a little too literally! 😂🔄 May need to work on those club etiquette skills – reincarnation ain't no joke! 🙈 #YOLO"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

  Commentary:
  Sure thing! How about this: "If you think I'm bad at texting now, just wait until I'm ghosting you on the Ouija Board! 👻📱 #TextsFromTheAfterlife"

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