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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Going viral on TikTok:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Just shared via Telegram:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Live now on Instagram:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Seen just now on Discord:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Funny anniversary quotes

Funny anniversary quotes bring laughter and love together to celebrate those special milestones with a wink and a smile 😄🎉 Whether you’re toasting years of bliss or playfully teasing your partner, these witty lines add sparkle to any celebration 💕🥂 Ready to keep the romance lighthearted and fun? Let the chuckles and cheers begin! 😂🎈

New funny anniversary quotes 👇

All funny anniversary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

23 shares on X this month:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

24 shares on Threads this month:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

71 shares on X this month:

You are the Monday of my life.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Trending via WeChat:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Going viral on Threads:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Making waves on Slack:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Going bananas on Slack:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

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