Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Going viral on Slack:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Just landed via Instagram:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Just shared via Threads:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Making waves on Facebook:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Seen just now on Threads:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Just shared via Reddit:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

79 Funny asked quotes

More funny asked quotes 👇

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

1 month ago

asked, emotions, even, expression, facial, facial expression, feelings, humor, lot, okay, people, relatable, shout, shout out
I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

1 month ago

asked, boss, conversation, employee, everyone, hire, hiring, humor, i, insult, joke, knows, me, people, remember, stupid, stupidity, told, work
Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

1 month ago

addiction, app, asked, bum, delete, deleted, humor, i, Instagram, media, phone, request, scroll, social, social media, someone, technology
At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

1 month ago

airplane, airport, asked, humor, husband, misunderstanding, seat, seats, travel, where, wife
I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

1 month ago

asked, best, best day, boss, day, hate, here, i, job, life, once, quit, quit job, resignation, said, simply, why, work
Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

1 month ago

asked, book, books, bookshop, conversation, great, humor, joke, me, misunderstanding, recommend, recommendation, said, sure, worker
Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

1 month ago

asked, class, education, German, Germany, humor, intelligence, mathematician, people, physicist, response, rich, social, social class, stereotype, wealth, why, woman
Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

1 month ago

asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers
My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

1 month ago

asked, childhood, fan, game, games, humor, i, iPad, joke, kid, kids, me, play, question, robot, sound, speak, speech, technology, told, used

For even more funny asked quotes, hit next 👇

All funny asked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

27 shares on X this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Breaking via TikTok:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Live now on Twitch:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Activity Log ✨

79 Funny asked quotes

More funny asked quotes 👇

All funny asked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨