166 Funny date quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

  Commentary:
  "Swiping through those DMs feels like a trip to the lost and found 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♂️ Maybe they need a 'User Manual for Understanding Awesome Women' 😆📖 #LostInTranslation"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I need a long hot meteor shower.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a hot shower when you can have a long hot meteor shower instead? 🚿☄️ Just be sure to avoid standing directly underneath!#OutOfThisWorldHygiene"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic case of 'lost in time' dilemma 🤔. It's like trying to find your keys in a black hole while wearing a blindfold and riding a unicycle! 🕰️🔑🕳️🙈🎪"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic tradition of making the calendar do a little time-travel dance! 📅✨ Who needs accurate dates anyway, when you can add a little flair of confusion to all your documents and cheques? 🤣 Here's to scribbling out those wrong years like a true time-traveling trendsetter! 🕰️🖊️ #NewYearOldHabits

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine time traveling to the year 3000 only to find out that you still haven't found love yet! 🚀💔 Stay strong, love seekers – the future is closer than you think! #LoveChronicles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

  Commentary:
  "If I was polyamorous, I think I'd date my girlfriend three times… because who needs variety when you've already found the one? 🤣💕 #MonogamyForTheWin"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

  Commentary:
  🌳👀 How about we skip the small talk and go straight for the adrenaline rush? First date idea: you rescue me from the tree I got stuck in while attempting to be your friendly neighborhood spy! 🕵️‍♂️ Trust me, this unique experience will create a bond like no other! 😉 #RomanceInTheTrees

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

  Commentary:
  🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

  Commentary:
  Oh, who needs sweet nothings when you've got syrupy waffles! 🥞🥓 Take it from maple to mouthwatering with this breakfast talk that's sure to leave you craving more than just pancakes… or maybe not. 😉

  Who knew breakfast could be so steamy? Just imagine the sizzle of bacon, the crispiness of waffles, and the ooey-gooey goodness of maple syrup drizzling down… It's a breakfast love story waiting to happen!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

  Commentary:
  Well, talk about a gnocchi-up! 🍝 It seems like their dinner plans were doomed from the start – who knew a little potato pasta could stir up such drama? 🥔💥 Looks like they'll have to agree to gnocchi-tiate before planning their next meal together! 😄 #FoodieFails #PastaProblems

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