Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Commentary:
"Who needs *beauty sleep* when you can have *koala sleep*! 🐨💤 This smooth operator takes lounging to a whole new level. Just don't expect any wild adventures between the sheets, unless it involves eucalyptus leaves! 😂 #KoalaStyle"
6 months ago
Share →: The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully – losing body parts along the way 🤷‍♂️ Just remember to pick 'em up if you find 'em! 🦵🔜🙈"
6 months ago
Share →: Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Commentary:
"Who said optimism had to be hard work? 😂💭 Embrace the joy of knowing that your cozy bed awaits you in just 17 short hours! Sweet dreams, dreamer! 💤✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal optimist in the family – the delusional daughter who's banking on that lottery win to swoop in and save the day! 🤑💫 Who needs a financial plan when you've got pure ambition and a lucky streak, right? 🍀 Here's hoping those lottery numbers align soon, or we might just have to adopt a backup plan! 😉🎱"
6 months ago
Share →: I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Commentary:
"Oh, so THAT's why Rome wasn't built in a day – they forgot to invite you to the construction party! 😂 Looks like they missed out on the expert builder right here! 🏗️💪 #RomeWasntBuiltInADayButItCouldHaveBeenWithYou"
6 months ago
Share →: Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Commentary:
"Who needs a special occasion when you can just dress up for laundry day every day, am I right? 💁‍♀️🧺 #AlwaysReadyForSomeSudsAndSpins"
6 months ago
Share →: Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Commentary:
"Ah, yet another day where adulting strikes again! 🤦‍♂️ Who invited responsibilities to the party anyway? Time to play hide and seek with obligations and hopefully find some fun along the way! 🎉 #ResponsibilitiesRuiningMyVibe"
6 months ago
Share →: Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Commentary:
"Today has a case of the Mondays on a whole new level! ☕☕ Even my coffee is hitting the snooze button. It's a caffeine inception kind of day! 😂 #DoubleShotPlease"
6 months ago
Share →: At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sacred transition from hair accessory to snack guardian! 🌙🦀 Because who needs beauty sleep when you can have crispy chips instead? 😂 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Celebrities defy expectations by not following your daily death predictions! Stay tuned for more shocking revelations 🤯📺 #ExpectTheUnexpected"