Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Just landed via X:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Making waves on TikTok:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Just landed via Slack:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Breaking via Instagram:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Seen just now on Threads:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

2 weeks ago

activity, back, backwards, conspiracy, day, discover, fun, fun activity, listen, music, nostalgia, record, theory, used
People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

2 weeks ago

being, complain, complaint, crime, day, duty, every, fantasy, humor, jury, jury duty, listening, mother, night, people, sequester, true, true crime
Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

2 weeks ago

call, call out, day, everyone, humor, launch, little, next, prank, soft, soft launch, stomach, weird, work
Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

2 weeks ago

activity, brush, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, day, day off, family, family party, fun, fun activity, humor, leisure, leisure time, party, relaxation, theory, time
Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

2 weeks ago

Canada, Canadian, Canadian Thanksgiving, day, every, everything, food, gravy, holiday, humor, put, same, Thanksgiving, tradition, us
“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

2 weeks ago

after, day, food, goodbye, great, humor, i, kid, kids, lunch, orange, parenting, school, tell
The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

2 weeks ago

bad, bad day, being, best, bomb, bomb technician, danger, day, humor, irony, job, life, never, profession, safety, technician, work, worst
Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

2 weeks ago

brilliant, brilliant time, Christmas, daily, daily struggle, day, else, every, everyone, fact, hard, having, hide, holiday, humor, loneliness, people, relationship, single, struggle, time, us
November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

2 weeks ago

31st, calendar, day, humor, i, just, me, November, pay, procrastination, real, rent, should, sounds, tomorrow, want
I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

2 weeks ago

called, challenge, daily, daily goal, day, doing, every, goal, humor, i, just, month, motivation, November, perseverance, procrastination, through, try, where

For even more funny day quotes, hit next 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Discord this month:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

74 shares on Threads this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

66 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

41 shares on Discord this month:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

32 shares on Threads this month:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Spotted on Reddit:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Breaking via Instagram:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Trending via Telegram:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Live now on Snapchat:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Making waves on WeChat:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Just landed via Instagram:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Activity Log ✨

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨