35 Funny drug quotes

• They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

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  1 month ago

  anticipation, call, drug, earlier, feeling, having, humor, number, should, unexpected

• Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

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  1 month ago

  creativity, drug, drugs, game, good, humor, jokes, just, name, naming, oh, prescription, prescription drug, pretty, random, randomness, Scrabble, sounds, sure, word, word game

• Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

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  1 month ago

  America, captain, Captain America, culture, drug, drugs, enhancing, everyone, humor, i, irony, just, love, me, need, performance, performance enhancing drug, pop, pop culture, self-improvement, superhero, take

• I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

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  1 month ago

  advertising, commercial, commercials, dance, describe, drug, drug commercial, effect, humor, i, medication, side, side effect, too

• I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

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  1 month ago

  activity, armstrong, around, bike, block, drug, drugs, enhancing, enhancing drug, exercise, humor, i, lance, Lance Armstrong, nostalgia, performance, time, understand

• It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

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  1 month ago

  drug, gambling, life, motivation, people

• Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

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  1 month ago

  age, career, career change, change, drug, drug kingpin, high, high school teacher, humor, i, inspiration, kingpin, old, possibility, remember, school, teacher, think, too, walter, Walter White, white

• My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

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  1 month ago

  afford, alcohol, caring, drug, employer, humor, i, pay, poorly, problem, salary, work

• Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

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  1 month ago

  addiction, consequences, drug, drug tests, drugs, humor, irony, lif, ruin, society, tests

• Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

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  1 month ago

  America, dealer, drug, drug dealer, education, humor, irony, metric, metric system, shoutout, system, teaching

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