24 Funny everyday life quotes

One day I'll do amazing things. Today I'll be satisfied if I don't spill food on my lap.

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Funny Quotes Feb 22, 2025

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Funny Quotes Feb 6, 2025

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Funny Quotes Feb 2, 2025

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Don't worry, you'll find the lost scissors when you'll be searching for your glasses.

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025