Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

7 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Just landed via Twitch:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Just landed via Reddit:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Trending via Facebook:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Home » Funny Everyday Life Quotes

50 Funny everyday life quotes

Funny everyday life quotes are the little nuggets of humor that add a sprinkle of laughter to our daily routines 🤣🚶‍♀️☕. Whether it’s the chaos of morning coffee spills or the awkward dance of dodging small talk, these quotes capture the hilarity in the mundane 🏃‍♂️💬. Perfect for a quick chuckle while scrolling or to lighten your mood during a hectic day, they remind us that life is better with a smile 😄🌟.

New funny everyday life quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Commentary:
That's one wrinkled board that's giving Alanstis Morissette a run for her money! 😂✨ #IronyOnAnotherLevel
6 days ago
Share →: Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Commentary:
Every time I wait in front of those doors, I feel like I'm auditioning for an invisible friend's club! 🚪🤦‍♂️😂
7 days ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂
1 week ago
Share →: I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅
1 week ago
Share →: To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Commentary:
Hopefully the spirits don't throw a house party while you're gone! 👻🎉🛒
1 week ago
Share →: Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Commentary:
RIP to those fancy mugs that are now just fancy dust collectors ☕️🕯️✨
1 week ago
Share →: I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Commentary:
"Ew squared 😂☔️🚶‍♂️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Commentary:
"Folding laundry is my cardio. 🏋️‍♂️👕 Just kidding, I'm on a permanent rest day! 😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: “Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Commentary:
"Why stop there? Might as well teach my toaster how to dance! 🕺🚿🚗🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Commentary:
"Same here! I think I left my glass in the Twilight Zone. 🍷🤦‍♂️ #LostAndThirsty"

For even more funny everyday life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny everyday life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

7 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Freshly posted on X:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Breaking via Threads:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Just landed via Threads:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Broadcasted on Slack:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴