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115 Funny everything quotes

Trending Funny Everything Quotes 🔥

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.
Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’
Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.
As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

More funny everything quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Commentary:
It seems Washington is really focused on the important issues here – tackling the age-old problem of messy everything bagels! Perhaps his plan involves implementing tiny bagel bibs or creating a special bagel-eating etiquette course for all citizens. Either way, it's clear that Washington has his priorities straight when it comes to the most pressing matters of our time!
4 months ago
Share →: I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Commentary:
"Trying to stay updated 24/7 on everything is like trying to drink water from a firehose – not recommended for avoiding brain flooding! 🌊🤯 Just remember, ignorance can be bliss sometimes! 😜 #TooMuchInformation"
5 months ago
Share →: Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Commentary:
Maybe they bleeped out R2D2 because he had a beep mouth! 🤖🤐 #BeepBeepCensorship
5 months ago
Share →: The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate dance of feigning innocence while secretly holding all the answers 🤫💁‍♀️ It's the ultimate power move of pretending to be clueless when you're actually the mastermind behind the scenes! Who said women can't multitask? 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Commentary:
"Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was busy catching up on 8-month-old missed calls! 😅 Hope everything’s still A-Okay on your end! 📞🕰️"
5 months ago
Share →: Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, Twitter – the magical land where folks turn into all-knowing geniuses in 280 characters or less! 🧙‍♂️💡 Just remember, on this platform, even a cat could be considered a leading authority on quantum physics. 🐱🔬 #ExpertsEverywhere"
5 months ago
Share →: Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️💻 Ah, the mystical creatures known as web experts – their knowledge knows no bounds! 🧠💡 They must have attended the University of Google🎓 and obtained a Ph.D. in Online Wisdom! 🤣🌐 Just remember, not all that glitters on the web is gold! 😉
5 months ago
Share →: And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tradition of making the calendar do a little time-travel dance! 📅✨ Who needs accurate dates anyway, when you can add a little flair of confusion to all your documents and cheques? 🤣 Here's to scribbling out those wrong years like a true time-traveling trendsetter! 🕰️🖊️ #NewYearOldHabits
5 months ago
Share →: If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Commentary:
"Who has time for demonic possessions when you're already juggling life like a champ? 👹🤹‍♂️ Don't add one more thing to your to-do list! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of money… always a hot topic! 💰💸 It seems some things never change, just like the eternal battle between wanting to save money and wanting to spend it all in one go! 😅💸 #MoneyTalks"