56 Funny eye quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

  Commentary:
  Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

  Commentary:
  "When your cauliflower insists it's a T-bone, but it's clearly a florets-in-disguise 😂🥦🍖"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

  Commentary:
  "When you met me, did you sense a disturbance in the force, or was it just last night's tacos? 🌮🔮😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

  Commentary:
  "With the amount of eye rolls I do daily, I'd be a fitness icon by now! 🙄💪😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

  Commentary:
  "Oops! Guess my 'eye contact' came with a free trial. 😜👀"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

  Commentary:
  "Suddenly, it's a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the silent office camaraderie of locking eyes with a fellow meeting sufferer, sharing a moment of 'Can you believe this?' without saying a word. 🤨👀 It's like our secret language of sanity in a sea of corporate absurdity!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

  Commentary:
  "Next time someone rolls their eyes while you're talking, just remind yourself that they're on a mission to find their lost brain 🧠💭. Don't feel bad, be proud that you're keeping them entertained! 🙄😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

  Commentary:
  "Day 12 without chocolate: I didn't know my left eye could even hear, let alone choose to go on strike over chocolate! Must be holding out for the good stuff."

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

  Commentary:
  "When life hands you lemons, make sure they don't see it coming! Remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets lemon juice in their eye."

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