Funny failed quotes

• You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

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  4 weeks ago

  CIA, experiment, failed, humor, insult, result

• Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

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  4 weeks ago

  8, America, being, capitalism, coffee, consumerism, contradiction, failed, irony, kid, media, only, oppression, phone, post, shoe, social, social media, wealth, wear

• Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

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  4 weeks ago

  absolutely, attempt, connection, consolation, consolation prize, cruelty, dating, failed, friendship, humor, prize, rejection, relationship, romantic, romantic connection

• There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

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  4 weeks ago

  attempt, dislike, failed, failure, frustration, hate, humor, i, nap, nothing, relaxation, sleep

• If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, calculation, every, fail, failed, humor, i, ID, joke, math, money, school, test

• If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

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  4 weeks ago

  behavior, digital, digital behavior, excuse, failed, honesty, hour, humor, humor about truth, i, just, later, lying, me, online, procrastination, say, truth

• Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

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  4 weeks ago

  arts, arts and craft, business, craft, crafts, Etsy, failed, failed business, farmers, farmers market, humor, market, millennials, satire, shopping, should, unloading, vegetables

• I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

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  4 weeks ago

  allegations, being, captcha, comedy, even, failed, fight, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, know, password, robot, technology

• I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

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  1 month ago

  am, escape, experiment, failed, humor, i, lab, sarcasm, science, sentience

• If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

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  1 month ago

  after, election, failed, failure, humor, people, person, politics, rich, rich person, satire, upset

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