Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Breaking via YouTube:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Trending via X:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Going bananas on Discord:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Just landed via Slack:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Funny failed quotes

Funny failed quotes bring laughter to our most awkward moments 😅💥 When things don’t go as planned, these witty lines turn mishaps into smiles 😄✨ Ready to embrace the art of failing with humor? Dive into a collection that proves messing up can be just as entertaining as winning! 🎉😂

New funny failed quotes 👇

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

6 days ago

CIA, experiment, failed, humor, insult, result
Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

6 days ago

8, America, being, capitalism, coffee, consumerism, contradiction, failed, irony, kid, media, only, oppression, phone, post, shoe, social, social media, wealth, wear
Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

7 days ago

absolutely, attempt, connection, consolation, consolation prize, cruelty, dating, failed, friendship, humor, prize, rejection, relationship, romantic, romantic connection
There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

7 days ago

attempt, dislike, failed, failure, frustration, hate, humor, i, nap, nothing, relaxation, sleep
If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

1 week ago

50, calculation, every, fail, failed, humor, i, ID, joke, math, money, school, test
If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

1 week ago

behavior, digital, digital behavior, excuse, failed, honesty, hour, humor, humor about truth, i, just, later, lying, me, online, procrastination, say, truth
Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

1 week ago

arts, arts and craft, business, craft, crafts, Etsy, failed, failed business, farmers, farmers market, humor, market, millennials, satire, shopping, should, unloading, vegetables
I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

1 week ago

allegations, being, captcha, comedy, even, failed, fight, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, know, password, robot, technology
I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

1 week ago

am, escape, experiment, failed, humor, i, lab, sarcasm, science, sentience
If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

2 weeks ago

after, election, failed, failure, humor, people, person, politics, rich, rich person, satire, upset

All funny failed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on YouTube this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

72 shares on Slack this month:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

22 shares on Slack this month:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

70 shares on X this month:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Breaking via X:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Going viral on X:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Just landed via Slack:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

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