106 Funny got quotes

• Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

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  2 months ago

  demon, everyone, got, hair, humor, joke, OMG, once, possessed, possession, prank, something, supernatural, transformation

• I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

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  2 months ago

  frustration, future, got, headache, humor, sarcasm

• I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

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  2 months ago

  activity, aspiration, books, career, dream, dream job, figures, fun, fun activity, got, i, job, leisure, paid, park, reading, relaxation, six, six figures, wish

• “Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

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  2 months ago

  buddy, confidence, even, got, humor, i, irony, milk, sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-esteem

• You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

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  2 months ago

  burger, Burger King, Burger Kingdom, crown, fast, fast food, food, food humor, got, humor, humor quote, just, king, kingdom, legitimacy, parody, question, satire

• One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

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  2 months ago

  bra, embarrassment, got, high, humor, humor story, i, intoxication, misunderstanding, shot, situation, social, social situation, story, thought, time

• Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

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  2 months ago

  activity, around, butterfly, butterfly net, chase, chasing, fun, fun activity, got, hr, humor, me, net, work, workplace, workplace humor, zoomy

• I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

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  2 months ago

  card, clever, comparison, contrast, gordon, got, heart, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous comparison, mouth, personality, personality trait, ramsay, sarcasm, savage, savage mouth, sharp, sharp tongue, soft, soft heart, tongue, trait, witty

• I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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  2 months ago

  achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear

• Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

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  2 months ago

  ahead, attitude, big, cheeky, day, got, humor, middle, morning, motivation, sarcasm, sarcasm humor, sleep, tomorrow, well

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