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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Reported on Snapchat:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Spotted on Discord:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Just landed via Reddit:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Spotted on TikTok:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Trending via Instagram:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

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21 Funny holding quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Going viral on X:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Just shared via Twitch:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Spotted on Discord:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Going viral on YouTube:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Shared recently on Discord:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

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