Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Spotted on Discord:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Just shared via Slack:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Just shared via TikTok:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Trending via X:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Just landed via Slack:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Trending via TikTok:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Just shared via Discord:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Funny honey quotes

Funny honey quotes 🍯🐝 are the sweetest way to add a buzz of laughter to your day! Whether you’re a honey lover or just here for the laughs, these playful and sticky-sweet sayings will have you grinning like a bee in a flower field 🌸😄. Get ready to spread the sweetness and giggles with quotes that stick better than honey on toast! 🍞✨

New funny honey quotes 👇

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

0

2 weeks ago

car, Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, family, holiday, honey, humor, procrastination, store
Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

0

2 months ago

clothing, crop, crop top, heat, honey, honey pot, humor, idea, pooh, pot, right, summer, top, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, world
A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bees, better, explaining, fly, honey, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, man, metaphor, once, patience, said, shit, time, waste, wisdom, wise
Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

0

2 months ago

conversation, honey, humor, internet, media, online, online conversation, relationship, social, social media, stranger, strangers, talking
I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

0

2 months ago

2015, after, bed, disaster, experiment, great, honey, i, mishap, relationship, stopped
I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

0

2 months ago

big, comfort, fashion, feel, fishnet, food, ham, honey, humor, i, love, quirky, roast, sleeping
Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

0

3 months ago

after, call, chicken, dating, digger, expectation, gold, gold digger, honey, humor, man, meal, men, pay, piece, stereotype, us, woman, yacht
Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

0

5 months ago

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang

All funny honey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Discord this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

29 shares on X this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I told ChatGPT about us.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Live now on Discord:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Just shared via Messenger:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Trending via Threads:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

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