I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Commentary:
Hey there, friend! 🌟 Just a gentle reminder that Monday blues are temporary – you've got this! 💪 Remember, it's not the end of the world, it's just the start of the week! 😁 Keep calm and Monday on! 🚀 #MondayMotivation

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the "male loneliness epidemic" is here to remind everyone that what goes around comes around! 🤷‍♂️ Maybe they should have thought twice before ghosting, huh? Looks like Karma's got a great sense of humor too! 😂 #LonelyButNotAlone

If you're going to be weird, be confident about it.

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Commentary:
"Embrace your quirks like a boss and strut your weirdness with pride! 🌟 Own that awkward dance move or bizarre hobby – confidence is the key to standing out in a world full of wannabes! 🤪💃 #WeirdAndProud"

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous hour-long Twitter scroll – the digital equivalent of falling down a rabbit hole 🐇. Just remember, the only way is up! See you guys tomorrow for another round of social media shenanigans 📱😅."

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Commentary:
Looks like that spatula has taken up permanent residence in the drawer, claiming squatter's rights! 🍳🤣 Better call in a mediator to resolve this heated kitchen dispute! 🔥🍴

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're the master of awkwardness, huh? 🙈 Who needs a superpower when you can create awkward moments on demand? Your friends must love the rollercoaster of cringe you take them on! 🎢😅 Just remember, every awkward situation is just a hilarious story in the making! Keep spreading that awkward charm! ✨

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

Commentary:
"Who, me? Oh, just hanging out, having deep conversations with the squirrels 🐿️ and debating life's mysteries with the pigeons 🐦. Stability level: expert 🤪🐾 #AnimalWhisperer"

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of push-pull doors – the ultimate test of our IQ! 🚪💭 It's like a never-ending dance between you and the door, with one step forward and two steps back. Just when you think you've got it figured out, it sneaks up and surprises you! Maybe we should start a support group for fellow "door challenged" individuals! 😂🤦‍♂️🚶‍♀️ #PushPullPro

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Commentary:
"Feeling like your brain is a browser with a hundred tabs open? 🧠💻 Welcome to the chaotic world of multitasking where every tab seems to be playing a different sitcom episode! 🤪 Remember to save your progress before your brain crashes! 😂 #MultitaskingMadness"

Exercise won't cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Commentary:
"Who needs revenge when you can just outshine them with those killer muscles? 💪😏 Exercise: the ultimate enemy-destroying weapon with a side of endorphins! 🏋️‍♂️🔥 #SweatinNotStressin"