The worst part of my grandfather's dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Commentary:
"Ah, the real tragedy of forgetting about Dre – Grandpa missed out on bopping his head to the beats and dropping it like it's hot 🎧🕺 Who knew memory loss could be so dis-Dre-ssing! Keep the chronic memories alive, folks! 😂"

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal 'work in progress' anthem – more like a masterpiece in procrastination! 🎨😂 At this rate, they'll have a full gallery of not-so-masterpieces in no time. Keep up the non-work, folks! 👩‍🎨💼"

I'm sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't go out with you. My heart belongs to a virtual man who never interrupts me when I'm talking 😏💔🤖 #RelationshipGoals"

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Commentary:
"Relationships are like room temperatures – it's all about that perfect balance! 🌡️❤️ So remember, it's all fun and games until someone turns up the heat or cranks the AC! 😂 #ThermostaticallyCompatible"

I'm not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Commentary:
Oh universe, maybe it's time to switch up the curriculum then! 🤓🌌 Lesson learned: When life keeps throwing shade, just throw some sunglasses on and wink back 😉 #StillLearningButStylish

Cupid's arrow should have just killed me instead.

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Commentary:
"Looks like Cupid missed the mark on this one! 😅💘 Who knew love could be so hazardous? Maybe next time Cupid should consider switching to a Nerf bow and arrow for safety reasons. 🏹 #ValentinesDayGoneWrong"

I have nothing in common with people who "forget to eat".

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Commentary:
"Oh, you 'forget to eat', you say? 🍔🙄 Must be nice skipping meals while the rest of us are over here planning our next snack attack! 😂 #FoodiesUnite"

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Commentary:
Oh, searching for a cell mate over a soulmate, huh? 🤣 Who needs love when you can have a bunk buddy, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ Just make sure to keep those prison phone calls to a minimum! 🤪 #CellMateGoals

Relationship status: he escaped.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Commentary:
"Relationship status: he escaped 🏃‍♂️ Maybe I should start using handcuffs instead of just tying knots in the relationship 🤣 #RunawayLover"

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Commentary:
"Being an adult is like being handed a manual written in invisible ink and being expected to navigate life without a GPS… or a clue 🤷‍♂️🔍 #LostInAdulthood"