4428 Funny i quotes

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  7 days ago

  Share →: I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

  Commentary:
  When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️

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  7 days ago

  Share →: “Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

  Commentary:
  Why chase dreams when I can perfect the art of procrastination? 🎨😴

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  7 days ago

  Share →: Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

  Commentary:
  Every night is just another chance for my anxiety to throw a party and forget to invite sleep! 🎉😅💼

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  7 days ago

  Share →: I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

  Commentary:
  Using viral selfies as bait before dropping a political plot twist—who knew selfies could double as debate tickets? 📸🎣😂

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  7 days ago

  Share →: One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like you're playing "Guess Who?" in real life! 🤔🙉💭

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  7 days ago

  Share →: Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

  Commentary:
  Just waiting for the elevator to reach the "Next Time, Press the Close Door Button Faster" floor 😂🚪🕴️

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  7 days ago

  Share →: As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

  Commentary:
  Sure, as long as the moon doesn't start charging for long-distance calls! 🌝📞✨

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  7 days ago

  Share →: I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

  Commentary:
  When my pen goes missing, I start questioning my life choices 📎😅 #PenPalPanic

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  7 days ago

  Share →: Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

  Commentary:
  Mind-blowing concept, right? 🤯 Who knew that silence could be so… educated? 🤔🤐

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  7 days ago

  Share →: I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

  Commentary:
  Haha, I've reached expert level at using my phone as an invisibility cloak to dodge "talkers" in public! 📵🦸‍♂️🙈

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