158 Funny ID quotes

• “AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

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  2 months ago

  AI, check, coming, day, emails, fantasy, fantasy football, football, hours, humor, ID, jobs, life, office, office life, productivity, send, technology, work

• I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

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  2 months ago

  aggressive, drive, humor, i, ID, less, morning, relief, stress, stress relief, tank, transportation, work

• My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

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  2 months ago

  adult, adulthood, believe, childhood, door, doors, dread, existential, existential dread, expectations, gain, humor, ID, irony, lava, led, me, passageway, quicksand, secret, secret passageway, serum, trap, trap door, truth, truth serum, weight, weight gain

• Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

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  2 months ago

  accomplish, apps, communication, contact, dating, frustration, hours, humor, i, ID, nothing, relationship, someone, support, talk, tech, thanks, wanted

• I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

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  2 months ago

  answer, answering, believe, bravery, caller, caller ID, calling, communication, daredevil, hard, hello, i, ID, idea, just, nostalgia, phone, picked, surprise, used

• You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

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  2 months ago

  desire, escape, humor, ID, know, missing, travel, where, wish

• Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

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  2 months ago

  always, avoidance, high, high school, humor, ID, me, nostalgia, reunion, saw, school, seen, someone, year’s

• I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

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  2 months ago

  bet, dinner, guest, humor, i, ID, invite, invited, me, stay, Thanksgiving, think

• I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

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  2 months ago

  after, humor, ID, joke, massage, masseuse, minutes, okay, relaxation, selfish, terrible, turn

• I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

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  2 months ago

  change, day, doing, every, every day, flirt, humor, ID, laundry, me, meant, name, relationship, think

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