Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sacred vow of the blanket fort! 🏰🤐 What happens in those cozy walls remains a mystery to the outside world…unless the snacks run out, then all bets are off! 🍿😂 #BlanketFortSecrets"
5 months ago
Share →: If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Commentary:
Oh, the legendary creature known for its incredible ability to express exasperation with just one eye open! 🙄 It’s a rare sight to behold, the majestic Sighclops wandering through the realms of boredom and indifference. A true icon of mythological sighing power! 😂🧛‍♂️ #SighGoals
5 months ago
Share →: You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wonderful world of assumptions – where we become expert storytellers about people we barely know! 🤔💭 Remember, just because you've crafted a masterpiece in your mind, doesn't make it true! 🎭😄"
6 months ago
Share →: If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Commentary:
"Put him in a snow globe and shake away! Just make sure he doesn't turn into a snowman ⛄️. Love is a whirlwind, but maybe not that literally! 🤣💑"
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Commentary:
"Imagine being an insect hitching a ride on a car, thinking you've found a cozy spot, only to realize you're on a never-ending road trip! 🦗🚗 Talk about a bug's version of 'moving' troubles! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Commentary:
"Who needs a drug mule when you can have a majestic drug unicorn prancing through the underground world like a sparkly harbinger of illegal substances? 🌈🦄 Just imagine the glittery trail it leaves behind as it delivers its magical payloads. Move over, mules, it's all about the fabulous unicorns now!"
6 months ago
Share →: Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Commentary:
"Ah, the power of imagination at its finest! Dreaming of dreams within dreams – the ultimate inception of bedtime goals. 💭💤 #Sleepception"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for light's selective seduction skills! Can you imagine the chaos of having boars trying to RSVP to your next dinner party through the windows? 🐷🕯️ #OnlyInMyNightmares"
6 months ago
Share →: We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Commentary:
"Life's full of endless possibilities, as long as you can outsmart the bureaucracy! 🤔🏛️💡"
6 months ago
Share →: I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Commentary:
"Being flexible is definitely my strong suit, just as long as everything goes exactly as I envisioned it in my mind palace with absolutely zero deviations… 😅🤷‍♂️ Who needs spontaneity when you've got a perfectly crafted blueprint, am I right?"