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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Going viral on X:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Going bananas on Discord:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Spotted on Facebook:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Just shared via Twitch:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

32 Funny magic quotes

Funny magic quotes✨ are the perfect sprinkle of laughter 🪄 to brighten your day! Whether you’re a wizard 🧙‍♂️ in training or just love a clever twist, these witty lines will cast a smile spell 😄 on anyone. Get ready to chuckle, giggle, and maybe even say abracadabra with a grin! 🎩🐰

New funny magic quotes 👇

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All funny magic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

74 shares on YouTube this month:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

76 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Spotted on Facebook:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Breaking via Telegram:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Trending via YouTube:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Trending via YouTube:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Making waves on Threads:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

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