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15 Funny magic quotes

New funny magic quotes 👇

  • I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

    Commentary:
    Eye of newt, spite of ex—let’s get petty, medieval style 🧙‍♀️🕯️📜

  • If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

    Commentary:
    “If they can’t see your magic, it’s time to pull a disappearing act like Houdini! ✨🎩✨ Remember, not everyone can handle your fabulousness!”

  • Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

    Commentary:
    “Girl, while you’re sliding into his DMs, I’m busy browsing Etsy for a real magic solution! 🧙‍♀️💫 Can’t risk losing him to a simple DM battle after all! 😂 #WitchCraftOverRomance”

  • If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

    Commentary:
    🎩✨ “Well, if pulling quarters out of ears isn’t a job qualification, then maybe it’s time to find a workplace with a better sense of magic and wonder! Who wouldn’t want an office where pulling coins out of ears is considered a valuable skill? 🪄💼 #MagicIsTheSkillWeNeed”

  • A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

    Commentary:
    “If only genies accepted payment in snacks and naps, my life would be sorted 🧞‍♂️🍪💤 #GenieGoals”

  • Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the mystical incantations of legal jargon! 🧙‍♂️✨ It’s like lawyers are wizards casting spells with words instead of wands. 🪄 “Hear ye, hear ye, by the power vested in these terms and conditions!” 📜💼 Don’t be fooled by the smoke and mirrors of legalese – it’s all just wordy wizardry in a three-piece suit! 👔🔮

  • I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

    Commentary:
    “Self-care? More like spell-care! ⚡️✨ Who needs face masks when you’ve got magic wands? 🔮💁‍♂️ Time to add some abracadabra to that morning routine! ✨💫 #PrioritiesShifted”

  • She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the true magician in the kitchen! 🎩✨ Who needs a wand when you’ve got a sandwich maker that can work wonders? 🥪😄 #SandwichMagic”

  • If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

    Commentary:
    🔮💸 “If you suspect someone’s been dabbling in the dark arts, just swipe $500 my way and I’ll wave my magic credit card to banish that spell! ✨💳 Who needs potions and incantations when you have the power of money, am I right? 😂💸”

  • I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out, Copperfield! ✨ This person’s ability to make things vanish would put any magician to shame. 🎩🐇 Who needs a magic wand when you have impeccable disappearing skills? 🔮💫 Abracadabra, clutter be gone! 🧙‍♂️🚫 #MessyButMagical”

For even more funny magic quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny magic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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