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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Breaking via Twitch:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Seen just now on Discord:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Spotted on Slack:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Just shared via Facebook:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Shared recently on X:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Trending via TikTok:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

40 Funny modern life quotes

Funny modern life quotes are the perfect way to laugh at the chaos of our digital age! 😂 From endless notifications 📱 to caffeine-fueled Zoom calls ☕️💻, these witty sayings capture the quirks of today’s world with a hilarious twist. Ready to smile at the madness of modern living? Let’s dive into some relatable humor that’s sure to brighten your scroll! 🌟🤣

New funny modern life quotes 👇

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

17 hours ago

animal, animal behavior, away, behavior, car, comparison, crazy, day, found, funny comparison, gas, gas station, got, having, horse, humor, imagine, later, life, medieval, medieval times, modern, modern life, ran, run, runaway, runaway horse, scared, station, times, transportation
Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

1 day ago

addiction, around, day, glass, humor, just, life, modern, modern life, phone, phones, screen, sit, smartphone, tapping, technology, wild
It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

1 day ago

alive, call, code, codes, day, email, email verification, every, fabulous, frustration, hot, humor, life, love, modern, modern life, news, nightmare, person, phone, phone call, reading, real, robot, time, verification, verification code, yelling
Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

1 day ago

delete, detox, digital, digital detox, frustration, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, relief, river, social, social media, sometimes, stress, stress relief, technology, throw
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

1 day ago

behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts
I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

1 week ago

bedrotting, born, day, generation, humor, i, laziness, life, love, media, modern, modern life, right, scrolling, social, social media, through, Twitter
This email could’ve been sex.

2 weeks ago

communication, email, humor, life, message, modern, modern life, procrastination, relationship, sex
Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

2 weeks ago

daily, daily life, dark, dark humor, fantasy, humor, life, lord, Lord of the Rings, modern, modern life, Mordor, rings
Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

2 weeks ago

current, current event, event, humor, irony, life, living, modern, modern life, phrase, phrase play, play, precedented, precedented time, through, time, times
Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

2 weeks ago

eat, humor, life, lifestyle, love, modern, modern life, overthink, pray, scroll, snack, sometimes

For even more funny modern life quotes, hit next 👇

All funny modern life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

64 shares on X this month:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

98 shares on Slack this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

16 shares on X this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Making waves on Discord:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Spotted on Threads:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Trending via YouTube:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Going viral on Telegram:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

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