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116 Funny myself quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase 'burning desire' 🔥😅 It seems like they're not one to stay cool under pressure! #HotStuff"
5 months ago
Share →: People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'just be yourself' advice – because apparently, being a chaotic bundle of contradictions is exactly what the world needs more of! 🙃 Embrace the quirky, slightly off-kilter charm of being YOU – it's not for everyone, but hey, who wants to be just like everyone else anyway? 😉✨"
5 months ago
Share →: Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Commentary:
"Who needs self-improvement when you can just wear a snazzy jacket and pretend you've got it all together? 😎 Sometimes a killer outfit is all the therapy you need! 💁‍♂️ #Priorities"
5 months ago
Share →: I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Commentary:
🚭 "I find myself thinking 'God, I need a cigarette' way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke. Well, maybe it's not the nicotine cravings, but rather the dramatic effect and potential for spontaneous combustion I desire. 🔥 Stay lit in spirit, not in ash!" 🚬
5 months ago
Share →: “I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Commentary:
"If only politely declining dates resulted in a spectacular fiery show like hurling oneself into an active volcano 🔥🌋 Can you imagine the dramatic effect it would have on the dating scene? 😆 #MyExcusesAreHotterThanLava"
5 months ago
Share →: Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Commentary:
"Talking to myself is like having a meeting with the smartest person I know 🧠💬…even if they do tend to disagree with me a lot! 🤣 #BrainstormingSolo"
5 months ago
Share →: Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Commentary:
"Trying to insult me? Please, I already beat you to it in the mirror this morning! 💁‍♂️😂 #SelfRoast"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate VIP party for one! 🎉 Who needs loud bars and crowded clubs when you've got your own exclusive solo soirée at home? 🥂 Here's to being your very own best drinking buddy! 🍻 #PartyForOne"
5 months ago
Share →: If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Commentary:
When someone tells you to make yourself at home but you're not in the mood for visitors 🛑🏠😂 #IntrovertProblems #SorryNotSorry
5 months ago
Share →: People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of why some folks ask for information on Facebook that could be found in a quick Google search 🤔 Maybe they just miss the thrill of human interaction amidst the vast sea of cat videos and memes 😆🔍 #JustGoogleIt"