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96 Funny myself quotes

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

3 months ago

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

3 months ago

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

3 months ago

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

3 months ago

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

3 months ago

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

3 months ago

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

3 months ago

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

3 months ago

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

3 months ago

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

3 months ago

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

3 months ago

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

3 months ago

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

3 months ago

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

3 months ago

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

3 months ago

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

3 months ago