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62 Funny nobody quotes

Trending Funny Nobody Quotes 🔥

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.
Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.
Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.
Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.
You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

More funny nobody quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Commentary:
Oh, the temptation to give someone a gentle reality check in the form of a shoulder shake and a whispered "Nobody cares!" 😂 Sometimes a dose of honesty can be quite liberating! Just remember to shake gently, we don't want any accidental bobbleheads! 😉
3 months ago
Share →: You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal code of secrecy: speaketh not, whispereth never, revealith nothing! It's like trying to keep a secret in a house full of gossipy ghosts – good luck with that!"
4 months ago
Share →: Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Commentary:
"Who needs real-life friends when you have an internet buddy who always has your back? 🌟 Virtual friendships: making social interactions one meme at a time! 🤣👯"
4 months ago
Share →: Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Commentary:
Don't let Valentine's Day bring you down! Remember, you're consistently unloved all year round – now that's what I call consistency! 😅💔 #ValentinesDayBlues
5 months ago
Share →: Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Commentary:
Looks like the gingerbread house real estate market in the forest has really plummeted 🍭🌲 Seems like witches are struggling to attract people with their baking skills these days! Maybe they should consider a more modern approach like food delivery apps to boost their customer base! 🧙‍♀️🍬 #WitchRealEstateStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Commentary:
Can you imagine the stunned look on your face if your dog suddenly drops this bombshell on you? 🐶😯 Just imagine the endless possibilities and conspiracy theories that would follow such a declaration! 🤔🐾 And to top it off, the dog's vow of silence afterward would only add to the mystery and hilarity of the situation! 🤫😂
5 months ago
Share →: Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you have yourself as a critic? 🤷‍♂️🔫 Go ahead, self, hit me with your best shot! 💥😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Commentary:
"Who knew dressing a toddler for the snow was a part-time job with its own delivery schedule? ⏳❄️ Just add it to the list of 'skills required for parenting' along with negotiation tactics and advanced snack hiding techniques! 😂👶 #ToddlerSnowFashionista"
5 months ago
Share →: How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Commentary:
🤔 "Making decisions without consulting future versions of ourselves could be the reason we haven't seen any time travelers yet! But hey, no news is good news… right? 🚀🕰️ #NoRegrets"
5 months ago
Share →: Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Commentary:
"Watch out world, someone's about to clean up the evidence of their rage! 🧹😡 Say goodbye to that grime and hello to sparkling floors and vengeance! 💪✨"