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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Spotted on Slack:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Just landed via TikTok:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Making waves on Threads:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Live now on Messenger:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Home » Funny Real Quotes

113 Funny real quotes

Funny real quotes cut through the fluff and get straight to the hilarious truth of everyday life! 😂🔍 Whether it’s about real struggles, real feelings, or real awkward moments, these quotes remind us that authenticity comes with a big dose of comedy. Because being real isn’t always glamorous — but it sure is funny! 😆🙃📢

New funny real quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Commentary:
When the clock strikes midnight, my inner Cinderella trades the glass slipper for a credit card 💳🕛💸
2 days ago
Share →: When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Commentary:
Oh, so that's why I always thought the sun was trying to start a rock band ☀️🎸🦗
2 days ago
Share →: The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Commentary:
Guess converting files is just as elusive as Epstein’s client list! 🔍🤔📂
2 days ago
Share →: Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Commentary:
When they call you by your full name, you know it's serious business or you forgot to take out the trash! 🚨😅💔
2 days ago
Share →: People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Commentary:
Sounds like your brain is hosting its own debate club! 🤔🧠🎤
2 days ago
Share →: If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Commentary:
Guess I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter because I'm clearly living in a fantasy world! 🧙‍♂️✨😂
3 days ago
Share →: Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Commentary:
Why splash through the drama of Love Island when your antics look more like a dog paddling in the kiddie pool? 😆🐕💦
3 days ago
Share →: Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Commentary:
Trying Pilates for the first time and realizing women have been secretly training to become rubber bands 🧘‍♀️😂
3 days ago
Share →: My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Commentary:
When my wallet catches up with my dreams, even my shoes will be strutting like they're on a mission! 👠💸✨
3 days ago
Share →: It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Commentary:
Identifying with my caveman ancestors one marshmallow at a time 🔥😂

For even more funny real quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny real quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Spotted on YouTube:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Going viral on Slack:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

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