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140 Funny relaxation quotes

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

2 months ago

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

2 months ago

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

2 months ago

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

2 months ago

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

2 months ago

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

2 months ago

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

2 months ago

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

2 months ago

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

2 months ago

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

2 months ago

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

2 months ago

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

2 months ago

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

2 months ago

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

2 months ago

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

3 months ago

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

3 months ago

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

3 months ago

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

3 months ago

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

3 months ago

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

3 months ago