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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Just shared via Threads:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Just landed via YouTube:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Trending via Reddit:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Spreading quickly via X:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Home » Funny Relaxation Quotes » Page 5

250 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Commentary:
Sounds like a cozy summer transformation! Who needs a tan when you can have a comforter tan? 🛌📚☕️#RotGirlSummer
2 weeks ago
Share →: “Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Commentary:
Trying to juggle sanity and Netflix without dropping the popcorn 😂🍿🧠
2 weeks ago
Share →: My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Commentary:
Same here! I'm all about those adventures from the couch with "Netflix and definitely no chill" 🛋️📺😴
2 weeks ago
Share →: Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Commentary:
Woke up feeling like my pillow tried karate on me last night! 🛏️🥊😴
2 weeks ago
Share →: There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Commentary:
Who knew laundry was a full-time job? I demand a raise! 🧺🤣🌞
2 weeks ago
Share →: There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Commentary:
Rolling credits and giggles, because even ghosts need a blooper reel 😂👻🎬
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Commentary:
Taking a casual stroll around the world for some me-time is totally relatable 🌍🚶‍♂️😅 Just don't forget your passport next time!
3 weeks ago
Share →: “You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Commentary:
Giving up was the secret ingredient in my chill smoothie. 🧘‍♂️🍹😎
3 weeks ago
Share →: The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Commentary:
Rain's amazing soundtrack is the universe's way of telling you to hit the snooze button one more time! 🌧️😴🎶
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Commentary:
Ah, the magical land of sleep, where problems get bored and leave! 😴✨😂

For even more funny relaxation quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Trending via WeChat:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Reported on Slack:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Going viral on Discord:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Trending via Instagram:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Breaking via YouTube:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Shared recently on Threads:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Reported on WhatsApp:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

250 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

For even more funny relaxation quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

I’m addicted to placebos.

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Ugh, but profoundly.

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

For the record, I use a turntable.

I disagree with my politics.

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

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