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140 Funny relaxation quotes

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

3 months ago

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

3 months ago

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

3 months ago

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

3 months ago

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

3 months ago

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

3 months ago

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

3 months ago

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

3 months ago

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

3 months ago

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

3 months ago

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

3 months ago

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

3 months ago

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

3 months ago

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

3 months ago

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

3 months ago

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

3 months ago

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

3 months ago

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

3 months ago

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

3 months ago

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

3 months ago