Funny quotes request

33 Funny request quotes

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Dear Santa, Money!

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025