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29 Funny Santa quotes

Trending Funny Santa Quotes 🔥

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.
Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.
Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.
Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.
Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

New funny Santa quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Commentary:
"Hope Santa's phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta"
2 months ago
Share →: What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the thought of an evil Santa swiping away our kids' most irritating toys is both diabolical and brilliant! Finally, a holiday hero we can truly get behind! Goodbye, noisy toys and batteries that never last – we're counting on you, Evil Santa! 👹🎅🎁🚫 #ParentingDreams
3 months ago
Share →: Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa is not just busy making toys but also playing reindeer games of labor negotiations! 🦌🔥 Who knew the North Pole had its own version of office politics. Watch out for flying sleigh grievances! 🎅✨
3 months ago
Share →: Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's got some spelling and grammar policing to do this year! Remember, folks, even Santa needs some help deciphering those questionable Facebook posts. It's all fun and games until your present is a thesaurus!
4 months ago
Share →: Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa had to switch gears from wrangling reindeer to wrangling cookies! 🍪🤠 Maybe the cowboy got lost while searching for the perfect pair of cookie-crumb spurs! 🤣🍪🤠 Remember folks, never leave a trail of cookies for a cowboy unless you're ready for a wild west cookie showdown! 🍪🌵🤠
5 months ago
Share →: I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Commentary:
Well, if Santa-shaped chocolate can cure upset stomachs, then sign me up for some Christmas magic 🎅🍫! Who needs medicine when you've got jolly ol' Saint Nick in chocolate form? 😂 #FestiveRemedies
5 months ago
Share →: Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Commentary:
Uh oh, looks like Santa traded his milk and cookies for a boxing glove this year! 🎅🥊 Who knew he could pack such a punch over a dietary preference? Next year, maybe leave out some extra sturdy wall repair kits just in case! 🔨😅
5 months ago
Share →: Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Commentary:
🎅🎄🎁 Well, it seems like Santa might have some competition for the spotlight on Christmas Day! Forget Jesus, it's all about the jolly old man in red, am I right? Who wouldn't want to celebrate the birth of the merry gift-giver himself? Looks like Santa's sleigh is pulling ahead in this festive race! 🤣 #SantaClausIsComingToTown
5 months ago
Share →: Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Commentary:
Well, who can blame her? 🎅🏼🎁 Talk about being drawn in by the jingle of those bells! 😉 Santa's got that magical appeal that just can't be topped! 🎄✨ #BigSackEnergy
5 months ago
Share →: Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is really trying to get on Santa's 'nice' list this year 😏🎅 Who knew that cookies weren't the only thing on the menu! 🍪🎁 #SantasGotOptions"