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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Spotted on Messenger:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Trending via Slack:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Spotted on YouTube:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

52 Funny Santa quotes

Funny Santa quotes are here to sleigh your holiday spirit with a jolly dose of laughter 🎅😂! Imagine Santa cracking jokes while checking his list twice and sliding down chimneys with a hilarious twist. These quotes will have you ho-ho-ho-ing all through the festive season, turning any gathering into a merry giggle-fest 🎄🤣. Get ready to unwrap a sack full of chuckles and share the joy with friends and family 🎁✨!

New funny Santa quotes 👇

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

1 week ago

Christmas, elf, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, joke, listen, music, pun, Santa, wrap
In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

3 weeks ago

20, always, Christmas, door, east, flight, holiday, house, humor, miles, movie, neighbor, never, next, Santa, sleigh
They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

3 weeks ago

Christmas, deadline, excuse, game, gift, gifts, holiday, hours, humor, Japan, late, list, locked, nice, nice list, procrastination, Santa, say, still, want, whatever
What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

3 weeks ago

belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa
Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

3 weeks ago

Christmas, coal, gift, humor, me, panel, Santa, small, solar, solar panel, technology, woke
Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

4 weeks ago

body, grooming, holiday, humor, just, Santa, shave, shaved, whole
I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

4 weeks ago

beverage, Christmas, cup, forgetfulness, forgot, holiday, humor, i, max, milk, Pepsi, Pepsi Max, Santa
My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

4 weeks ago

16, Christmas, guess, here, humor, i, joke, jokes, mall, me, parent, parents, real, right, Santa, teenager, told
My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

4 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, favorite, house, i, kid, kids, Santa, spotless, tell, tradition, where
Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

4 weeks ago

before, belief, believe, better, cristiano, Cristiano Ronaldo, debate, football, footballer, grown, grown man, humor, kid, kids, laugh, lionel, Lionel Messi, man, men, messi, remember, ronaldo, Santa, sports, sports debate

For even more funny Santa quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Santa quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is just goth water.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Just landed via Facebook:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Seen just now on Discord:

My recliner and I go way back.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Seen just now on X:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

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