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81 Funny self-care quotes

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

3 months ago

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

3 months ago

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

3 months ago

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

3 months ago

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

3 months ago

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

3 months ago

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

3 months ago

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

3 months ago

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

3 months ago

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

3 months ago

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

3 months ago

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

3 months ago

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

3 months ago

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

3 months ago

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

3 months ago

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

3 months ago

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

3 months ago

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

3 months ago

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

3 months ago