36 Funny stand quotes

• My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

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  3 weeks ago

  boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever

• I have to stand in the shower about this.

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  2 months ago

  bathroom, confusion, humor, i, shower, stand, standing

• Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

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  2 months ago

  attitude, determination, different, frustration, humor, i, light, mind, mindset, mood, negative, negativity, perspective, rude, sarcasm, somebody, something, stand, upset

• A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

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  2 months ago

  analogy, balance, challenge, hammock, humor, life, metaphor, perfect, someone, stand, struggle, trying

• Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

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  2 months ago

  deficiency, fast, health, health humor, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, nutrition, pun, stand, too, wellness

• Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

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  2 months ago

  dog, humor, i, just, leisure, nature, nothing, relaxing, solitude, sometimes, stand, stare, sun

• Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

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  2 months ago

  confidence, daily, daily life, dog, enthusiasm, every, excited, excitement, happen, hell, humor, i, life, man, masculinity, moment, motivation, pet, real, shit, stand, time

• My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

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  2 months ago

  comedy, control, everyone, family, household, humor, husband, i, joke, looking, minute, need, relationship, remote, remote control, stand, stand-up

• My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

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  2 months ago

  boyfriend, conversation, escape, everyone, humor, i, interaction, jealousy, planning, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, stand, while

• The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

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  2 months ago

  activity, blank, common, common experience, confusion, embarrassment, experience, forgetfulness, forgot, high, i, indoor, indoor activity, memory, mind, mind blank, number, room, stand, staring, times, why

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