Funny quotes stand

22 Funny stand quotes

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

1 month ago

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

1 month ago

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

1 month ago

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

2 months ago

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

3 months ago

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

3 months ago

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

3 months ago

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

3 months ago

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

3 months ago

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

3 months ago

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

3 months ago

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

3 months ago

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

3 months ago

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

3 months ago

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

3 months ago

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

3 months ago

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

3 months ago

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

3 months ago

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

3 months ago

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

3 months ago