Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has copied:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has shared:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has viewed:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has copied:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Instagram:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Trending via Messenger:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Just shared via X:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Seen just now on WeChat:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Trending via Twitch:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Trending via Twitch:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Reported on Discord:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Home Β» Funny Talking Quotes

86 Funny talking quotes

Funny talking quotes highlight the hilarious chaos that comes with opening our mouths β€” sometimes without thinking! πŸ˜‚πŸ—£οΈ Whether it’s talking to yourself like it’s a TED Talk, going on and on with no idea where the story is going, or saying something awkward at *just* the wrong time, these quotes remind us that talking is a skill… and sometimes a comedy act. πŸ˜†πŸ€πŸŽ€

New funny talking quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny talking quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny talking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has viewed:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has shared:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has shared:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says β€œmust be picked up, won’t walk”.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Going viral on Slack:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Breaking via Threads:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Just landed via Telegram:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Making waves on Reddit:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Making waves on Threads:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Live now on Pinterest:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Share Wordgag πŸ™

Β© 2025. All fights retarded. πŸ€ͺ

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄