338 Funny thing quotes

• The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

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  1 week ago

  attraction, front, horse, hottest, humor, life, little, modern, modern life, opportunity, tame, thing, unfortunately, us, woman

• Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

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  1 week ago

  being, catalyst, change, current, doing, exist, future, future self, growth, hard, hard thing, i, improvement, just, me, motivation, myself, personal, personal growth, realization, self, self-improvement, thing, things, version

• The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

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  1 week ago

  band, Floyd, humor, joke, little, music, pink, Pink Floyd, rock, rock band, singing, slow, slow start, start, take, thing, while

• No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

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  1 week ago

  awkwardness, eye, eyes, humor, just, no rizz, pretty, pretty eye, rizz, say, self-deprecating, thing, things, unsettling, unsettling thing

• Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

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  1 week ago

  anger, every, frustration, humor, lack, lack of sex, little, mad, mood, mood swings, reason, relationship, sex, swings, thing

• How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

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  1 week ago

  fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing

• Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

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  1 week ago

  again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing

• Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

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  1 week ago

  annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think

• The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

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  1 week ago

  escalator, faster, humor, joke, only, speed, thing, wordplay

• The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

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  1 week ago

  5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth

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