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202 Funny thing quotes

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  • You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, Pilates – the workout so intense, it even has biblical origins! 💪🙏 Who knew getting those abs of steel could be so… divine? 😂 #HolyGains”

  • Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

    Commentary:
    “Life’s biggest mystery solved: the chicken or the egg? 🐔🥚 Turns out, it’s just bizarre either way when they magically pop out of nowhere! 🤷‍♂️🤣”

  • Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that annoyance could be so alluring? 🙄💁‍♀️ Watch out, world, here comes the most enchanting annoyance you’ve ever seen! 💃😜”

  • If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

    Commentary:
    “Flirting level: crow! 🌟 Who needs jewelry when you can impress with all things shiny and sparkly? Just imagine the magpie envy 😂🦅 #BirdRomance”

  • Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, it’s all about timing! 🤪 Say something bizarre to distract from your strange actions. 🙃 Who knew being weird could be so strategic? 😂”

  • The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs personal trainers when you have the ice cream truck, right? 🍦💪 It’s all about that sweet motivation rolling by! 😂 #FitnessGoals”

  • People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

    Commentary:
    “Who says going home is a bad thing? 🏠💤 I‘m all about embracing my inner cozy sloth and heading home for that sweet, sweet nap time. Go big or go home? More like go big, then go home for a nap! 😄💤”

  • Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

    Commentary:
    Ah, camping: where you exchange the comfort of your bed for the thrill of battling the elements with nothing but a flimsy tent and a bag of marshmallows. ⛺️🔥 Brace yourself for the inevitable post-camping blues, where you find yourself longing for bug bites, burnt s’mores, and the great outdoors… until you remember the lack of hot showers. Let’s just say, camping may leave you questioning your own sanity, but hey, at least it

  • I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

    Commentary:
    “Hey, if being ‘batshit crazy‘ means embracing my inner wild side and living life to the fullest, then sign me up! 🦇🤪 Who needs normal when you can have extraordinary, am I right?”

  • I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the good old days when the biggest dilemma was sandwich shapes! 🥪 Who knew triangles versus squares could stir up such deep emotions? 😄 Let’s take a moment to appreciate the innocence of childhood priorities! 🧒🍞 #SandwichStruggles

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