59 Funny through quotes

• “I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

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  23 hours ago

  chase, done, funny situation, house, humor, i, never, open, parenting, parkour, Sharpie, situation, through, toddler

• I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

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  1 day ago

  am, authenticity, bullshit, hate, honesty, humor, i, just, love, me, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, through, trust, want

• “A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

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  1 day ago

  after, balance, bell, diet, drive, exercise, fast, fast food, fitness, food, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, i, lifestyle, say, taco, Taco Bell, through, working, workout

• Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

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  1 day ago

  better, communication, ex, humor, i, misunderstanding, most, mumble, osbourne, ozzy, Ozzy Osbourne, relationship, still, through

• My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

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  1 day ago

  delusion, favorite, humor, i, just, motivation, need, optimism, procrastination, stress, through, week

• Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

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  1 day ago

  dating, girlfriend, grok, humor, me, mutual, network, relationship, scan, social, social network, technology, thanks, through

• I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

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  2 days ago

  active, avoidance, humor, mindset, peace, procrastination, relaxation, self-care, through

• WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

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  6 days ago

  duration, fast, happen, humor, last, life, rest, sleep, through, war, WW3

• I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

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  1 week ago

  bedrotting, born, day, generation, humor, i, laziness, life, love, media, modern, modern life, right, scrolling, social, social media, through, Twitter

• Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

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  2 weeks ago

  ad, ads, age, attention, balance, consumer, demographic, digital, digital age, flow, humor, let, marketing, pay, personalized, personalized ad, soul, spirituality, through, touch

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