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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has shared:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has shared:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has viewed:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has shared:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Just shared via Slack:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Just landed via YouTube:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Spotted on WeChat:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Just shared via YouTube:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said β€œnext time it will be you”.

Spotted on Threads:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has shared:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has downloaded:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Making waves on Instagram:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Spotted on Facebook:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Trending via YouTube:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Spotted on Twitch:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Going viral on Messenger:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

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