17 Funny twice quotes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks, trust is like a Snapchat photo – it disappears quickly! 📸😂 Let's play it safe and keep those nudes where they belong – in the vault! 🔒😜"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

  Commentary:
  Oh, I can totally see the appeal of the Easter Bunny 🐰! Who needs a bearded old man spying on you as you sleep? 😂 Plus, giving candy is much more fun than getting coal! 🍬 #TeamEasterBunny

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, haggis – the ultimate test of your stomach's resilience! 🤢😂 It's a dish that truly challenges your commitment to the culinary journey…twice! 🍴😜"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

  Commentary:
  Looks like with women, you either strike out swinging or get hit by a curveball! 🤷‍♂️⚾️ It's all about finding that perfect balance, right? 😉

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

  Commentary:
  "Who has time for double ringing in this day and age? 📫💨 One ring and they're outta there! Maybe the postman should try speed dial next time. 📞😆 #RingOnceAndRun #PostOfficePranks"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

  Commentary:
  Middle-aged math dilemma: going out for a night on the town feeling like you're 25 again 🍹, only to wake up the next day looking and feeling like you're pushing 70! 🤪🥴 Just another case of arithmetic not adding up in our favor! #AgeIsJustANumber

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the dream of multiplying our cozy comfort! 🛏️😴 Imagine the possibilities: double the snuggles, double the naps, but still only one snooze button to press! 😄 Who needs to be in two places at once when you can just be in bed twice? #SleepGoals"

For even more funny twice quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny twice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌