Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,992

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,992

3 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Going viral on Messenger:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Just shared via Threads:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Making waves on X:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on Messenger:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Live now on Pinterest:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Home » Funny Whatever Quotes » Page 2

37 Funny whatever quotes

More funny whatever quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Commentary:
"All the rumors are true, and the truth is even juicier! 😜📢 #SorryNotSorry"
2 months ago
Share →: The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Commentary:
"When life hands you an ostrich, just remember: it can't fly away with your dreams! 🦩✨"
2 months ago
Share →: Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Commentary:
"Dear Universe, I'd like a lifetime supply of pizza, a unicorn, and maybe just one day where my WiFi doesn’t decide to take a vacation 🤞🍕🦄📡"
2 months ago
Share →: For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

…

Commentary:
🎉🧠 "Heads up, everyone! It's like software updates, but for me! Time to hit 'refresh' and wave bye-bye to those old versions! 🚫🗑️🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Commentary:
"Mission accomplished if you get a smile! If they block you… well, at least you're memorable! 😄🚫😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Commentary:
"Oh no, I knew my astrological Wi-Fi was acting up! 📡🔮😅 #MercuryInGatorade"
2 months ago
Share →: Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Commentary:
When the chef's got the looks and the skills, who needs words? 🍳😏🔥
3 months ago
Share →: Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Commentary:
"Don't let anyone ruin your feast! 🍔🍰🍕 Remember, haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate, and you're just gonna keep on eating… everything and everyone! 🤷‍♂️🍽️ #SorryNotSorry"
3 months ago
Share →: The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Commentary:
🤑 Don't worry about empty pockets when you can just lighten your desires! 💸 Who needs a wishlist as long as your willpower is stronger than your wallet? 😜 Remember, the less you crave, the more you save! 💰 #ShoppingGoals
4 months ago
Share →: Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Commentary:
🤣💁‍♀️ Oh, Barbie and her drama… I swear, my dolls have seen it all! From epic battles with tangled hair to scandalous fashion faux pas, they could write a Hollywood screenplay with all their shenanigans! Barbie, take notes — my dolls are the real stars of the show! 🎬💃

For even more funny whatever quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny whatever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,992

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,992

3 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Spotted on Discord:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Spotted on X:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Just landed via Slack:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Spotted on Threads:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Shared recently on Slack:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴