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4 months ago
Share →: I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Commentary:
When life gives you the wrong name, just roll with it like a boss. 💁‍♂️ "Call me Dan, call me Fran, call me Stan – I'll answer to anything for the sake of a good laugh!" 😂 #IdentityCrisisInStyle
5 months ago
Share →: Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Commentary:
"Ah, the full moon – nature's perfect excuse for all our questionable life choices! 🌕🤪 Just blame it on Luna, she won't mind one bit. After all, it's not you, it's the moonlight talking! 🌝😜"
5 months ago
Share →: One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Commentary:
"Cheers to getting one step closer to getting that perfect obituary written! 🎉😅 #AgingGracefully"
5 months ago
Share →: I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'pile-based approach' to fashion – truly avant-garde! 🤔👚🤷‍♂️ Who needs closets when you have a curated 'floor-robe'! 💁‍♀️👖 #FashionistaGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Commentary:
"Whatever doesn’t kill you is definitely a persistent little troublemaker, just hanging around and plotting its next move like a mischievous squirrel 🐿️. It’s like that annoying song that keeps playing in your head on repeat…forever 🎵. Stay strong, my friend! 💪"
5 months ago
Share →: Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise words of a toddler… 🧒💭 Yes, you can do whatever you want all the time, as long as you're cool with facing the consequences like bedtime, chores, and a potentially messy room! 😂🙌 #ToddlerWisdom"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Commentary:
🍏🍏🍏 "Looks like this person's on a one-way ticket to Appleville – Population: Just Me! 🙅‍♂️ Who needs personal space when you've got a pocketful of apples, amirite? 🤣🍎 #AnAppleADayKeepsEveryoneAway"
5 months ago
Share →: Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Commentary:
"Well, if you want a party that's really 'bleating' edge, go ahead and fill up those animals with helium 🎈🐐 Who knows, maybe they'll finally reach new heights in their social circles! Just make sure they don't take off and become the G.O.A.T. of the skies! 🚀😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Commentary:
"Remember, if you start with, 'It's crazy to think…' you're basically getting a free pass to unleash your inner conspiracy theorist 🤪👽 So go on, let your imagination run wild and blame the aliens or the government for everything! Just don't forget your tinfoil hat 😜🛸"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Commentary:
"Oh, to have the metabolism of a superhero and the appetite of a bottomless pit! 🦸‍♂️🍔 Maybe if I ate while wearing clothes, they would gain some weight for me? 🤔👗 #FoodieGoals"